Seeking
February 1, 2021
Hello February! Here in South Dakota, we are in the middle of the long slog of winter, with a week ahead of bitter cold. I’m reminded that we are also closing in a year since the pandemic closed everything down. This pared down life does feel endless by this point, but as more of us get vaccinated, there will be a return to something we once took for granted….what we now call “normal.” That hope is what motivates me. Meanwhile, life continues in the same rhythm, week after week…day job during the week days, the weekends of studio time & reading. A glass of chardonnay to soothe the rough edges. And some Rumi quotes to inspire.
“When you let go of who you are, you become who you might be”
Letting go….stage 1
Speaking of letting go, my days in the studio continue to reinforce the reminder to let go in order to actually move forward. I am not the same person I was when I last worked in the studio. We are always in the process of becoming and often we are held back by our desires to hold on to what we know. As I started working in the studio yesterday, I found my grip too tight, as I had been trying to continue pieces in the vein of the Foretold series I’d been working on. But my work sessions ended in a sense of frustration, since my efforts ended in chaos. Eventually, by the late afternoon, I came to my senses and had the dawning realization that the work wanted to move on and it seems I was the last to know. I was looking behind me instead of gazing into the future. So, I loosened my grip and then I let go and made the marks my hands wanted to make with brush and ink.
“There is a voice that doesn’t use words, listen.”
Letting go…stage 2
Abandon thinking, that’s my first step….which means letting go of the steering wheel. Trust. Play. Keep your hands moving. Create through chaos and trust that eventually, the moment of recognition will come. For me, that moment manifests itself in a kind of double-take when I look over at the work in progress and realize we’ve arrived….not at the finished piece, but at the point where my thinking mind may enter the conversation with the work. It takes quite awhile sometimes and a multitude of accumulated history for that moment to arrive. I am sharing with you these early stages of works in progress to let you know that it’s ugly at this stage, but it is part of my process. And also, that there are as many avenues of the creative process as there are creators!
“What you seek is seeing you.”
Letting go….stage 3
Here’s where the piece is at the moment, the ink still drying downstairs in the studio as I write. I somehow understood, I just need to keep going, adding layer after layer, accumulating the history of winding and tangled lines. I let go of the intention to hold the warm color palette dominated by my beloved antelope brown ink…nope. I don’t know where this is going. But I do know this…..the work and I will meet at a common ground where the sky will open up and I will understand what is happening and why. That last Rumi quote so aptly describes what happens for me in the studio…..what you seek is seeking you. I look forward to further conversations at my ink splattered desk in the studio….next chance I get.
Have a good week and please stay safe.
Cheers and thanks for visiting!